The Joke Thread

[ColKlink]

Abraham Lincoln was a good ol man
He jumped out the window with his dick in his hand
He said to the lady, "Hey Im doin my duty"
"So drop your pants and gimme some booty"

[johnny blaze]

I'm speechless.

[Evans]

Why did I freaking click?

;__;

[Ktiger41]

Why did I freaking click?

;__;

Dear God...

[Clive]

What do you call 3 wheelchairs stacked on top of each other?

A vegetable rack.

[Anonymous]

What do you call 3 wheelchairs stacked on top of each other?

A vegetable rack.

must be an english thing, i've never heard of a "vegetable rack"

[bbbigbossbb]

Since Sexual jokes seem to be OK, here goes.

I know how to make my penis 9 inches long.







































Fold it in half.

[DarkSamus]

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Heath Ledger he overdosed on pills!

Sorry its a shocking one that one


When Steve Irwin died they couldn't decide whether to bury him or cremate him so they put him in a crock pot!

[johnny blaze]

When Steve Irwin died they couldn't decide whether to bury him or cremate him so they put him in a crock pot

HAHAHAHAHA

[Kazuya Mishima]

What do you call a 1000 people chasing a black man...






The PGA tour.

[Ktiger41]

What do you call 3 wheelchairs stacked on top of each other?

A vegetable rack.

lol. my sick mind got that joke.

When Steve Irwin died they couldn't decide whether to bury him or cremate him so they put him in a crock pot

full of lolz.

[NosRedna]

What do you call 3 wheelchairs stacked on top of each other?

A vegetable rack.

You wanna play rough, eh?

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away?
Because she was an abusive drunk.

What did the homeless man get for Christmas?
Nothing.

How do you make a dog go "Meow"?
Freeze it, then run it through a bandsaw.

How do you make a cat go "Woof"?
Cover it in gasoline and light it.

A New Yorker invited a friend, who lived in the Czech Republic, over to the US to experience American culture. He took his foreign friend to the Empire State building, the Statue of Liberty, and many other famous locations. The day before his friend had to return to Europe, the New Yorker asked him if there was anything he really wanted to do or see. "Well," said his friend, "I would like to see an American zoo." So they went to the Bronx Zoo.
While they were there, they stopped in front of the bears cage. Suddenly, one of the bears bent the bars of the cage, grabbed the Czech, and swallowed him whole. The zookeeper ran over, wielding an axe, and shouted "Which one did it? Was it the male or the female?" The New Yorker pointed at one of the bears, and the keeper ran forward. With one mighty blow, he split the animal in half, to reveal... nothing.
The New Yorker shrugged, and said...
"I guess the Czech is in the male."

[[toj.cc]Phantom]

There's a skeeter on my peeter whack it off
There's a skeeter on my peeter whack it off
There's another on my brother
There's a dozen on my cousin
Can't you hear those bastards buzzin
There's a skeeter on my peeter whack it off

__________________________________________________ _______________

A physics professor and his assistant are working on liberating negatively charged hydroxyl ions, when all of a sudden, the assistant says, “Wait, Professor! What if the salicylic acids do not accept the hydroxyl ions?” And the professor responds, “That’s no hydroxyl ion! That’s my wife!”

[Chibi-Suke]

There are three people on the stairway to heaven; a blonde, a brunnete, and a red-head. St. Peter came down and told them, "on each of the one thousand steps you will be told a dirty joke, if you laugh we cannot accept you into heaven." So they start up the stairs. The brunnete gets 50 steps up, then laughs and is sent to hell. The red-head gets up 500 steps and then laughs and is sent to hell. The blonde gets to the 999th step and then, before the joke is told, starts laughing. Puzzled by this, St. Peter came down and asked, "Why did you laugh? You were almost there." and the blonde replies, "I just got the first joke."

I'm going to hell for this.

Edit:
George Bush is sleeping in the white house and is awakened by the ghost of George Washington. Bush, in awe, asks Washington how he can be a better president. He said, "be honest and upright like I was." The next night he is awakened by the ghost of Thomas Jefferson. He asked Thomas how he could be a better president. He replied, "keep grid-iron determination, and persiverence like I did." On the third night he was awakened by the ghost of Abe Lincoln. He also asked Abe how he could be a better president. He turned to bush and said, "Go see a play."

[Cricketman]

That blonde joke is hilarious i must be half blonde or something but i'd probably do the same thing as the blonde. I'm kinda cool like that. I did not understand athing that i typed. Now for a lame joke. Cricketman;(