bleh,I'm bored so I typed this,a "short story" about
a weird job interview I had some time ago.
It was a job in an office,I went to the place and I was told I was
going to be interviwed in english. (I'm in a country where spanish
is the main/official/"natural" language)
"ok,sure",
I thought "I know enough english to handle this,right?".
Wrong.
The problem was....
THE GUY THAT TOOK THE INTERVIEW IN ENGLISH,DIDN'T KNOW ENGLISH,
he was reading from a paper and saying the words as they sound using
spanish phonetics!.
That was unexpected,and you may think "but if you know both spanish
and english you should have been able to understand the guy",but no,
it was really confusing and I was like "huh?" and "what?" at every
sentence,because the guy wasn't talking in english at all,it was some
confusing "made-up dialect".
Some times he didn't even complete the sentences,like when he asked me
if I had a driving license. He just said "dreeveen lee-sense",
("i" sounds like "ee",so misreading "driving license",sounds
like that),and it took me by surprise,I said "huh?" and
he repeated "dreeveen lee-sense". When I got what he was trying to say,
I answered "ah,driving licence?,I don't have it yet but I'm planning to
get it soon".
Another question was "weet-nes?".
I said "what?" surprised,while I considered some options:
a)he's asking me if I witnessed something (?)
b)he's asking me if I have a witness (of what?,what for?)
c)why should I need a witness?,are they going to make me sign something?
and the guy (always reading from the paper),said "week-nes",this time
with k instead of t.
So,he was asking me if I had a weakness. I asumed it was about my
personality,something more likely to be asked for in a job interview
than a "witness".
I almost couldn't resist the urge to reply something like
"yes,I equipped stuff based on the fire elemental so I'm weak to
ice magic and shiva summons"
but I resisted and I said
"ah,you mean a weakness,as in my personality?,I guess I'm a bit shy when I
talk to people"
(haha,I don't talk to animals,plants or rocks anyway).
After that guy,I had the second part of the interview with somebody
that I guess was the owner of the company or at least a "bigger fish" than
the "dialect guy". That part of the interview was in spanish,and I was told
they needed somebody who speaks english because nobody in the office
does,(go figure) and they need somebody to talk to international
customers and people from other companies and that kind of stuff.
Well,I had the other skills they requiered,and I speak english,so that would
have been enough to get the job,right?.
Wrong.
I dind't get the job.
I don't know why but my guess is...I didn't pass the "english test"!
hahahaha.
Maybe it's a less crazy reason,like they found another guy with a better
resume or something,but my theory goes like this:
the guy that took the "english" interview must be considered among the
people in the company as "the one that knows some english"
because he reads words from a paper (nobody knows english in order to notice
anything wrong). I wonder if somebody else wrote the paper and told him
"just say this". Well,the thing is I was like "huh?" and "what?" several
times because I couldn't figure out what the hell the guy was saying,
SO,it must have looked like I was the one that didn't speak english.
He must have reported "he failed the test because he was asking 'what'
the whole time so he doesn't know english".
Bah,anybody that understands english and expects an english test is going
to be taken by surprise by the "made up dialect" test.
I wonder if somebody that speak "made-up dialect" got the job...
I can imagine somebody saying "ee-s,me got dreeveen lee-sense" and getting
the job.
Either that or the guy was the son of the owner or somebody "important"
in the company and although everybody should have known it was ilogical and
useless to let a guy that doesn't speak english to take the english
interview,nobody could do anything about it just because of "chain of command"
or even "political correctness". [as in "don't tell the owner that the
guy he specially recommended to take the english interviews,
doesn't speak english at all. Let's just pretend he does it right and nobody
will get fired,ok?"].
Anyway,that was the "short story",and yes,it really happened.
or should I say "eet reelee a-pened"?
note: I tryed to resemble how the english words sound with spanish
phonetics so people that doesn't know spanish would understand.
And as for people that speak spanish as their "natural language",
it's just reading the words "as they sound naturally to us that speak spanish"
without pronouncing them in english.
(as�* nomás como nos suenan naturalmente a los que hablamos español )